my highest weight reached was 66.9 kg LOL.........
T.T
been a big fat pig ever since i came back from Hatyai with Bird. EATTTTTT and SLEEEEEEEEP and EATTTTTTTT and SLEEEEEEEEEP and x4
i don't know why, but my blog has been getting A LOT of hits from russia and whatnot, and when i see the traffic sources, it's all those weird, adware-kind of URLs. WHAT THE FEK? Is someone putting up my blog link somewhere unsavoury?
_|_ you if you are.
neeway, i'm glad that Donald Trump won the US elections instead of corrupted Hillary who acts above the law.
hopefully Donald Trump can deliver on some of his promises asap. it would be good for some conservation revolution
and, the "tolerant left" have shown their true colours. i see so many videos and posts on the hypocritical people on my Facebook feed. smh
okay. so, i know God exists. He does things in mysterious ways. For example, when I was hooked onto poison and had wanted to meet some people because I was emotionally pathetic, the meeting always failed to take place. Months later when I come across such people's profiles, I think that they are indeed unattractive and I was luckie not to have met them. PHEWWWWWWWW
sometimes i come across pictures of "couples", one of whom is usuallie good-looking, i would think that the other partie was so luckie.
i wish i could be friends with some people too. but, i always reflect on my thoughts and conclude that it's better that i do not get to know them. after all, my mindset on homomomo is biblical but theirs is more secular. i doubt i could experience meaningful relationships with other such people.
i probablie need to run to lose my flabs
hello, steven. how have you been? are you even still alive? i hope you're doing fine :) i understand that you may never come back to singapore because of NS, but i wish you could contact me again.
i can't help regretting my immaturitie when we were still together. you taught me so much... to not let pride get in the way of relationships sometimes.
neeway, i've been reading some books on Thai grammar ^^ i'm proud to say that the books are for the lower and upper secondary level in thailand are are fully in Thai :3
soooooooooon, i will be a pseudo-Thai! muahaha
speaking of meaningful relationships, i will admit that i found this girl by the name of elsie quiteeeee attractive :P pim's an exchange student at NUS this semester and i was invited by her to attend some function at her residential college, so that's how i got to know the nursing student, elsie. she's quite attractive because of her outgoing, sometimes coy, personalitie and her beautie. when i asked if i could add her on facebook, she pointed me to like the residential college's facebook group instead LOL
she thought that i was a fellow resident :P but i'm actuallie an outsider HAHA
the next day, i added her on facebook, but she took a day or like half a day to accept the request. we didn't talk on facebook since then LOL
the articles she shares are usuallie quite interesting as well as the gifs that she shares. i like some of them because i agreed.
she also once shared a picture that women shouldn't chase men because if men were truly interested, they would make the first move
and you know what?
I AGREE!
HAHAHA
so, for many weeks we were facebook friends, but as the US election date neared, i found that she had a certain kind of thinking with regards to certain issues like homomomo and whom she supports in america. well...... i don't know.
:( i just felt a little cardiac sting :(
withdrawal is recurring, too. faekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
anyway, i didn't swim for at least 13 weeks but noww, i'm back to regularly biweekly swimming xD
i waited exactlie two months to blog again! such perseverance! nah, it's just that i'm lazie LOL
personallie, i don't like listening to new music. it's a weird phobia of wasting time listening to something that may not sound nice
but i got to listen to (and watch) the video Take Heart by The Sam Willows and WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH goosebumps sia my willows ^_^
so, unlike most people who swoon over Benjamin Kheng and the pretty babes, i was more impressed by the artistic nature, choreographie and the cinematographie of the music video O.O
lately i've been i've been losing sleep i've been going to NUS to audit the Thai classes. i'm expected to write a report after six weeks. at first it was merely to observe the teaching techniques of the teaching staff, but subsequentlie i felt more and more like a real auditor, there to give commentarie and suggestions. WOWWWWWWWW
TOUGH WORK.
also, i was allowed by Thầy Minh to sit in for Vietnamese 2 ^_^ at first, it was quite difficult to catch up because I hadn't touched Vietnamese for 1.5 years, but I slowlie picked up again ^_^
1. when i watched the video and saw Benjamin Kheng sing his part, it sounded quite high... and i wondered if he could pull it off in real life
2. watching a 987FM video of Sonia and Benjamin Kheng, i realised that he has an accent O.O an accent similar to Joshua Simon's
which got me thinking...... did he construct that accent as an alternate personality? that's because his past... well, i don't know, but i'm sure bad things must have befallen him before. to escape from all that pain, an accent is constructed to shift himself into an alternate dimension away from that pain
shall busie myself with some universitie applications, this time to Thailand :P
toodles~~~~~~~
i was just browsing through my videos on facebook...... the first video i had was in 2010 showing my hamsters. my beloved, cute, intelligent hamsters... and grace's rabid hamster LOL
i saw again my video in my first ever thai class during our final lesson. it was a scenario-based oral practice and i spoke like a noob LOL
now, i should speak better, but not pro lahhhhhhhh
i also saw my music covers (piano and violin) and my singing covers...... i also saw a video portraying my familie (especiallie grace), one of which was when i went to eat with my mother at compasspoint. i had super long hair sia then LOL but my complexion was............ @@
soo dammmmmm niceeeeeee lahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh like 2013 sia. THREE YEARS AGO NIA. now my complexion like sheet. all that sleep deprivation and lack of care for my health LOL
causing me to develop scarring blemishes! arghss
i also saw an instagram video of mine called 각도의 중요성 which means the importance of angles (in taking photos). i looked damn good siaaaaaaaaaaa. probablie also because in 2014, i wasn't some fat frog LOL
to see videos of myself in earlie 2012 where i wasn't even matriculated into NUS yet, i wonder how it feels to have the people you met in NUS, be they schoolmates or teachers, watch the videos of you before they got to know you. isn't it fresh and novel? it kinda lets you see a side of people that we haven't seen......
one thing i've realised is that it is emotionally draining for me to talk about my past relationships. it evoked so many memories, both joyful and hurtful but mostly nostalgic and melancholic................................
i guess i shan't open up that much to others, especiallie to those i'm not that familiar with
anyway, i can do a few pull-ups wor ^_^ like at least two legitimate ones without gaining swinging momentum LOL
and i can do sooooooooooooooooooo many push-ups now. it's like i could do twenty without stopping but onlie twentie :P
i got to meet up with brandon too :) it had been around one and a half years since i last saw him. i had actuallie deleted his number to kind of just give up and move on, and i was so surprised yet happie to receive his whatsapp message out of the blue just two weeks ago. coincidentallie, he was on my mind the previous night........ LOL
bird has moved to a room near my house ^_^ a previously cinderella-like bird had to go home right after our weekly swimming sessions, but now he could join us for dinner :D
did you know something about me and bird? initiallie when i met him at USS with our other friends, i didn't quite like him because he was a bit touchie LOL
but whoever knew that he decided to contact me when he was coming back to singapore for his internship, and then we developed a friendship and then i introduced him to ms wong, and now the three of us (excluding lukas and chuan chee who joined us much later) meet weekly for swimming and meals?
it's just so fortunate! :D
okay. now my newest jam is Chocolate by The 1975 :3 i hope you get to listen to it when you're reading my blog!
Thank God for blogging! It lets me express some of my thoughts :P
Shall I attempt to blog in perfect English this time?
Note: apart from punctuation and capitalisation, emoticons are used by me as punctuation marks too, thus the above ":P" functions as a full-stop. SO DO NOT TELL ME IT IS UNGRAMMATICAL :@
Aaaaand, so, the thing is this. It sucks when you're not seen eye to eye by someone else.
Whatever happened to brotherhood and compassion?
Caring for one another?
I wonder: do we remember our old selves from many years ago? Five, six, seven years ago or so...
Back then, intentions were purer, we were nicer, more genuine, yet now being shrouded by a mist of social elitism, we have become corrupted, mean, superficial and plain assholes.
It is so saddening to see someone apparently nice be someone actually mean to you. It violates the earnest and sincere heart.
It makes me feel as if all that empathy and concern for the other party are just unappreciated, unacknowledged and dispensable.
What really irks me is that such people rebut, saying, "Lol I didn't ask for your care nor concern."
Nooooooooooooooooo empathy. Selective treatment equals low EQ. That is but a fact if you use your brain and think about it.
The name of my blog is Melancholy... haha, I used to be such a melancholic kid :(
I would emo sooooooooo often, feel really hurt in my heart and then derive some kind of euphoria from it O.O truly a masochist, but in the emotional sense. There were some consequences, though, where my heart hardened and my breathing was kind of short. I suppose the condition has healed o.o
I used to dig emo-ing so much that I would feel so, so good...... 变态 sia HAHA yes, "HAHA" is also a punctuation mark :P
Arghs, I was such a messed-up kid. Now I guess I am less emotionally messed up but more deranged LOL
Ahhhhh, speaking of the past also reminds me of how cute and adorable I was *-* it attracted a few girls from Nanyang Girls' High HAHA
But I am sorry to have meimei-zoned them :P
*cues Justin Bieber*
I guess I have seen a lot of mean things in my life... Alfred, Lawrence the fucker, Wei Kang...... x(
Whoever knew when you were younger that people can harbour such intense, evil hatred for you?
It sure took a toll on my emotional health when I was young(er)...... Thinking back just brings back the pain and sadness ~.~
Silly Samuel, crying over such trivial things x)
Well, I need to retain my humanity. What others do is probably beyond my control (though perhaps not my influence).
So, 好自为之!
Alright. Perhaps that's enough for today. Toodles~ and thank you for reading :)
My current thoughts (and thoughts the past days) while Sparks Fly plays:
LINE Pop-up Store
LINE Pop-up Store shuai ge
Steven
Living Loom
Missing
Fun times
Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel
=(
you know, i must have said it before, but when the LINE Pop-up store came to Singapore in 2014, i was totally crazy over it and went there almost every day to spin the wheel (for freebies ^^)
there was this guy working there (he looked cute though a bit plump-looking, but not plump) andddddd i kind of tried making friends with him but he wasn't that receptive HAHA
because of that, i kinda resigned to my fate that we would never be friends
so, the pop-up store lasted a month, and i went for probably ten days in total. on the last day, i went there with Joshua Simon
it was around 8 pm, evening time
as i spun the wheel and got the Balloon prize, LINE Pop-up store shuai ge asked if i won the balloon prize
when he gave me my balloon prize from those that were already prepared, he suddenly took out another balloon that was underneath the table and handed it to me
that gesture was as if he had secretly kept one balloon under the table so that he could give it to me on the last day of the pop-up store, which essentially was the last time we would meet
i said "but i already have one balloon wad" and he just shoved the balloon to me, saying "just take la"
that gesture.................... TnT
it was as if he secretly harboured some affection towards me (friendssssss) and until today, i cannot forget the incident
unfortunately, that was indeed the last time we saw each other. ironically, we didn't exchange LINE HAHAHAHA
Hai, the things I would do to relive that moment...........................
Well, what about Living Loom and the rest below it? perhaps it's a story for another time :P
my whole familie went to have italian food somewhere near yio chu kang road ^^ the food was good for some dishes (some pizzas) and so-so for some (risotto, salad)
you'd never guess the total cost....................... OMG HAHAHA EVEN MORE THAN WHAT I EARNED ON SUNDAYS FOR TUITION
~.~ neeway, i think i have drifted a lot from God again
sigh......
i received a call 4 hours ago from somebody requesting me to help out at a centre. when i casually asked if there's CPF, she started to give the following reasons in an annoyed tone:
1. this is ad hoc part-time work
2. do you ask for CPF when you give tuition?
this is of course bullocks. i told her so long as i get at least $50 (a month), I can be awarded CPF.
this is not being overly calculative but being lawful.
technically, too, i can ask for CPF from the tuition centre.
Life is kinda weird, you know? The case is this:
She wanted to give me a pay raise to $10/hr but the happy mood quickly vanished when asked about CPF. HAHAHA
it's like when we wanna be generous to somebody at a certain point in time, the person seems to be "greedy" at that exact, same moment. EVER ENCOUNTERED IT?
It's like: you wanted to give your mother a surprise, so you did housework for her (without her knowing) so that she could rest as soon as she gets home, but when she gets home, she scolded you before knowing that you had helped her...........................
it's the feeling of being maligned or taken advantage of (?) HAHA
damn sian.
in any case, i will not be afraid to be assertive were she to give excuses about CPF again. i'm no pushover. not that i will force her to give me cpf, though
i'm in my chair thinking about taylor swift as i'm listening to her songs......... seeing how her concerts are filled with tens of thousands of fans, she must be filthie rich!
it's like pop stars like her earn soooooo much money.................. #jealous
if i enter that line (if i have da skillz), could i make a lot of money too?
since it's my five hundredth Post, I should actuallie write about something nice :) however, i'm receiving shoddy work from a friend who would like me to look through his piece. i'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo not interested in looking at slipshod work.
even the formatting of the document on my computer is haywire. it's sheet!
neeway, i've been learning tagalog ^^ so, i can say the following:
Ako si Samuel. Taga-Singapore ako. Pinakamatalino ako sa pamilya ko :P
i introduced Diablo III to CC :3 the averse-towards-playing-computer-games he was hooked :P thanks to someone handsome ^^
later i'm going to USS ^_^ to meet champ :3 haven't seen him for a longggggg timeeeeeee
champ is a Thai friend of mine :P i met him last year in around July. i helped him with his presentation slides! his english was actually atrocious, yet i had more patience towards helping him than bird........................ HOW COME AH?
i don't know, maybe coz one has critical thinking and the other has a bird brain??
alright. that's enough of roasting someone :P God is going to teach me a lesson on humility HAHA T.T
my sister is playing truant again. what's the problem this time? =.= something so insurmountable for a to-be-19 such that one must play truant? stagnancie, yo.
because of her, my mother spent around two hours from 1 am+ or so sitting at the dining table, typing her usual long essays on whatsapp. but to what end?
sharing her experiences again, i bet. i mean, she's been sharing her experiences on whatsapp with us whenever we have problems with something. FOR EXAMPLE WHEN SHE DIDN'T WANT TO LEND ME MONEY FOR SOMETHING.
is this effective?
i feel like telling her that always spending hours at ungodly hours typing some long-ass, nobody-wants-to-read essays on whatsapp is not effective in solving the problem the other party is facing in the first place.
ask yourself: WHAT IS THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM? THE LACK OF EXPERIENCES?
it must be something like my sister felt indignant at the treatment of the lecturer towards her. disrespect and belittlement sure put people off. maybe that's the root of the problem that my mom should rectify, not sharing her irrelevant experiences and then feeling all upset.
also, i believe that for her betterment, she ought to suck it up sometimes and treat the matter like an adult. if disrespect was involved, be civil and settle it with the lecturer and even give feedback to the school. playing truant and not learning new knowledge are not the way. by extension, if you were to encounter disrespectful people in your workplace in future, does that mean you don't need to work? DAFUGG
SUCK IT UP!
okay. since it's the five-hundredth post, i shall elucidate something :P my playlist as of 14 April 2016!
What Do You Mean — Justin Bieber
Sorry — Justin Bieber
The Sound — The 1975
Wildest Dreams (Nightcore Version) — Taylor Swift
feel like adding more songs =x
alright. GOOD MORNING TO WHOEVER IS READING THIS :3 gotta sleep for three hours or so, eat my breakfast then head to USS ^^
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spikedog123
Samuel Tan Yuan Han
4th January 1993
spikedog123@hotmail.com
Loves <33
eating liquorice
eating sashimi
eating ice-cream
nice, handsome and smart people ^^ LINE
Wishes
Earn $1000 in 2012 (27 Mar 13) Have five tutees LOL (10 Aug 14) Pick up a new language (25 Nov 12) Dye mah hair ^^ (?? Feb 12)
Find a girlfriend
Have 20/20 vision Fix my teeth (03 Nov 16)
Have a haircut (04 Mar 2015)
Have a haircut (23 Jun 2015)
Have a haircut (31 Oct 2015)
Have a haircut (30 Dec 2015)
Have a haircut (04 Feb 2016)
Have a haircut (10 May 2016)
Have a haircut (13 Jul 2016)
Have my hair dyed (14 Jul 2016)
Have a haircut (21 Oct 2016)
Have a haircut (09 Mar 2017)
